A New Life, For Or Against?

 

Sometimes I watch a television program about some "ghost hunters" who investigate allegedly haunted places. It's very interesting both to see what they find and what they call "finds". Up till now there has definitely been more of the "what they call finds" than 100% water tight, scientifically proven finds, but still, I find it interesting, actually also to see my own reactions to these maybe-finds.

IF there are ghosts then it means that our "soul" is more than the body and mind of us, it's not even part of our physical death, but somehow lives on after we die. That will be a substantial consolation for many people who fear death, but I'm not sure this "staying alive after death" is something to wish for. To have some traumatic experiences in life that glues one to the place where they happened is not what I find worthwhile for anybody, dead or alive. Such a situation would be more like being caught and then tied down in a more or less gloomy dungeon which I don't see as the wishful scenario for my future.   

Naaahhh, I think I would prefer a totally new life which is what cats are supposed to get up till nine times. Then the question is, would I be prepared to live in a place or a situation that's not "ME" as I'm now? Naaahhh, not really .... What I would concede for is a staying "me", while being transformed into something - ehhh', somebody else - and I don't think that's what's supposed to happen when one is reincarnated. 

Then there is no real point in wanting this intolerable, evil-minded and spoilt milksop to be reincarnated as this guy:
 

The milksop will not feel or experience the hardships of the homeless guy, just as he doesn't now when he is the so-called "president" of the USA. That means that the tie of these assumed lives must remain tight for the past to make as much as a dent in the make-up of the new life. 

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm ....

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jesus and the apostles taught that death is like sleep followed by a resurrection (See John 11:11-15).

 

Poem by Else Cederborg: "Masks"

Whenever the face was on it bristled with smiles

all kinds of smiles, some half, some whole

some genuine, some anything but

 

All of them were hers, earned in pain

and countless frustrations

Actually, in nature, most of them were

kicks, stabs, evil wishes and plans 

turned into facial expressions 

 

That's why she kept her face in a box

putting it on or locking it away, day in, day out

Her being held captive by unbeatable circumstances

the face got the better of her, demanding

moods and feelings that were not hers 

 

 

A On-Line-Love-Affair

Eh'???!!!! Yes, I definitely do have that right, and I'm going to exert it whenever I chose to! However, I have heard of people who feel owned by their own computer and certain subs they somehow got to visit all the time. I don't feel "owned" yet, but there are subs I would find it difficult to give up, and which I visit quite often. When I did some time ago, I was told a gruesome, but not all that uncommon tale of a woman who let herself get involved with a man on the Net. Before long they sort of seduced each other, and for a while they were very close indeed. The way it was told led me to think that she was a very down-to-earth-woman, but he started out as what one might call an old-fashioned, romantic gentleman-suitor - that is, before he turned unpleasant.  

 

 

Over time he somehow got the upper hand over her because nobody had told her of the dangers of webcams. All og a sudden her gentleman-suitor turned nasty: Being no better than he was, he threatened to post his takes of her on YouTube, when she decided to leave him for a more substantial lover. Suddenly, what had been a kind of love and quite fun games turned bad. As it is, she got more and more afraid that he would revenge himself on her by ruining her reputation in what might be called "the real world". 

I doubt that his photos and videos of her were very revealing or shocking, but she felt they might ruin a lot for her with her family, her colleagues, her friends, yes, everybody who knew her. Because of that, she was caught and gave up her new real-life-love to stay with her internet-lover. What a pity, in my opinion.

As she had never seen her online-lover in real life, but only knew him from photos who might be of anybody with a face and a body, she wouldn't even know him if he came to look her up. Actually, she was in a similar situation as the one of the young woman in this rather scary tale of a man's radical changes of looks and personality:

Wagging the "Tail" of the President

I always liked Dustin Hoffman, and I remember him in the classic movies "The Graduate", "Tootsie", "Midnight Cowboy", "Papillon", "Marathon Man", "Kramer vs. Kramer", "All the President's Men", and "Rain Man". The one I remember the best is "The Graduate", and I think that's because he and Ann Bancroft are doing a great job of the story about the woman who seduces her daughter's boyfriend.

However, there is another Dustin Hoffman-movie which I, actually to my own great surprise, have forgotten totally: "Wag the Dog" (1997), which is based upon the novel by Larry Beinhart from 1993: "American Hero".

This may sound crazy, but the reason why I came to remember this movie is the tRumpian's insane Iran-war that started a few weeks ago. As it is, tRump has nothing to do with this specific movie, but part of the recent Epstein- and Iran-situation, as it's seen by most people, Americans or not, seem to mirror it. The story is about a president, played by Michael Belson, who has an urgent need of a distraction from a sex scandal that could ruin his career: He was caught making sexual advances to an underage girl in The Oval Office. 

Michael Belson

Now, what to do to save the president's career and him from criminal prosecutions? Well, Dustin Hoffman and Robert the Niro as a Hollywood producer and a spin doctor, decide that a fake war might take the heat off the guilty president, so they go about fabricating what looks like a war in Albania, but which is only a make-believe-story. 

Strangely enough, a few weeks after the release of "Wag the Dog" the then president, Bill Clinton, had an affair with the young Monica Lewinsky that drew a lot of attention. Was it what led to the bombings in Sudan and Iraq? Also, there was the American intervention in the Kosovo War which one might suspect was related to the Clinton-Lewinsky-scandal.

https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2024/oct/09/wag-the-dog-where-to-watch-streaming-abc-iview-robert-de-niro-dustin-hoffman 

 

Wikipedia 

Playing With Toxins

 

Now, what do we have here? A sick dog? Yeah, but not sick-Sick as in contamination, genetic problems, accidents or the like. This very sick dog actually is a genuine drug addict. You may ask, how a dog can be a drug addict, and the answer is that he/she loves licking some of these poisonous animals:

I would have thought it takes a fairy tale princess to kiss one of these, and then it's not a frog, but a toad. The idea of "kissing a toad" stems from the Brother Grimm's fairy tale "The Frog Prince" about an unpleasant physical contact that symbolizes endurance: "Kiss the frog who is a bewitched prince and free him from the magic that turned him into an ugly animal. By doing that you gain the true love of a true prince.

Well, part of the unpleasantness of kissing frogs - or toads - is that some of them are quite poisonous. To kiss, or even touch, such a creature may be quite dangerous and is not to be recommended, e.g. as an experiment or a dare.

The sick dog who keeps licking toads is not only "playing with toxins", but with fire, as this foul habit may cost it its life. If a dog or cat licks, bites, etc. a poisonous toad one has to bring it to the vet, but before doing that one should rinse its mouth. 

Dogs don't read fairy tales, making them want to take the chance of kissing a frog to see it turn into a handsome prince, but they may do it to get at the skin secrets of the animal. While these secrets being killers in some toads or frogs they are also very "narcotic", giving hallucinations and all sorts of sensations that some, people and animals, enjoy. I suppose they aren't tasty in the normal sense like e.g. some foods, but they do what narcotics are supposed to do. For instance The Colorado River toad also produces something that's called 5-MeO-DMT, which is a powerful psychedelic. The Cane Toad is very dangerous to animals and should be avoided.

https://hemopet.org/toxic-toads-in-the-united-states/ 

Weird Tale by Else Cederborg: "The Reward" (Edited, Previously Published)

The Reward

It dawned upon Yvonne that her choice wasn't the best one. No, she shouldn't have asked for "never dying" when that genie told her she had some wishes coming her way for helping his nephew out from that old flask that had kept him prisoner for ages. 

No, she should have asked for something else, like e.g. "never aging and never getting poor". She even had three wishes, but somehow she couldn't remember the other two ones.

However, this never dying-promise simply begged another wish, but she had no idea of how she would get a fourth wish. It seemed impossible, also because the genie had gone, as he went to see another one of his troublesome nephews, this one having fun as a mass murderer in some far off country. (Yeah, genies are like that, they do exactly what they want themselves, also they are sloppy and don't always get the wishes right).

The sad thing for Yvonne was that by now, she saw someone in her mirrors who didn't resemble her - who simply couldn't be her – only, confusedly enough, she is dressed like her and when she stuck out her tongue at her, she did the same at her.

Horror! This creature in the mirror has spots all over, her hair is almost gone, well, at least that on her head. On her chin it grows like weeds and is very profuse. If that lady in the mirror doesn't start doing something to get rid of it she shall end up looking like a goat or some old gent from the 18th century. At that time all of them grew beards, which Yvonne knew for a fact as she was there and watched them, but alas, they didn't notice her sitting there, decrepit, destitute and desperate. Bad "Ds", bad situation, but better now as she came into money because she let the money come to her.

Yes, even though she at that time was 208 years old she still knew how to find ways of "finding" money.

All it took was some green stuff into the cups of some hapless people who hadn't met the genie: However, they knew the art of dying and die they did ....

Yvonne often fingered the flask that had held the nephew of the genie prisoner for such a long time. When she did, she felt its narrow shape confine as a solace. Just imagine the safety of sitting in that flask. Nothing could come out, that's true, but then neither could anything get in. Yes, one would be safe in such a small confine.

One day she even pulled the cork and took it to her nose to smell the perfume it had held long ago. When she did, the room started to vibrate, the light flickered and there he was, that "good", old genie!

"Oho," he yelled, smiling benevolently at her. "Looking fine, eh'?"

"You or me?" she asked, not at all amused.

"You, Madam, you," he bristled.

"I have mirrors and I wish I didn't," she said.

"So you don't like your looks as they have developed?"

"”Developed”!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course not, I’m a woman, not a scarecrow!!!!!"

He laughed and then said, in a teasing voice: "So what's your wish now? To regain your wonderful looks?"

"I had my wish," she said, "although I know there were more than one …."

"Yes, your second wish was "Give me a beautiful dress for the ball" - and I did - you were very satisfied. As to your third wish it was quite strange because what you said was: "Up yours!""

"What!" she exclaimed in horror at the by now somewhat bashful looking genie. "What did you just say?"

"Not my fault, you did, and as you can see, I sort of ignored it so it's still hanging there. Of course, I shall fulfill your wishes, I always do when someone helps one of my nephews, but ...."

"No, no, no," she yelled, utterly appalled, "Don't overexert yourself, I asked for too much. I withdraw that wish 100% right away!"

"Hmmm," he said, "It would be nice for me, but you see, that's not the way it works. The system is built on trust and sooner or later I have to fulfill the three wishes of the clients. I don't like this one bit more than yourself, but a promise is a promise, so .... "Up yours" it is ...."

Utterly horrified she considered her situation: Her first wish had been to never die, so she would never get release, and right now she was heading "Up yours" inside a deranged genie with several utterly evil and murderous nephews whose crimes were forcing him to travel all over the planet.

"No-no," she stuttered, "I free you of your obligation. I do it freely and with all

my heart."

"Mmmm," he said, but this statement or whatever it was, turned into a singing or humming sound as she felt herself being lifted by unseen powers and shot forward towards him, at the same time being shrivelled and shrunk into the same size as the cork she had been fingering. She knew she screamed when she plunged inside a very deep and dark place that didn't exactly smell of roses, but at the same time she felt sure that nobody heard her .…

Not Worth Dying For

When I saw the most recent interview with one of tRump's most infamous "advisors", Stephen Miller, jubilant that the USA now was killing even more Iraneans, I got mad. First of all, I haven't been able to find anything - or anybody - who proves beyond doubt that the tRumpian "feeling" of danger was based on realities. WHY then are people dying because the cheater-president of America chose to attack Iran??? As he is whom he is, I take for granted, that he is out to line his pockets by waging war, but still, he is playing with fire and should not feel safe enough to do what he did.

That I believe, but it will not work that way: By now he is just a pedophile - maybe even a murderous one - who is also a political disaster. 

As it is, I don't even believe that he won the presidency in what might be called a "fair game". I resent seeing him gloating at how he "screwed" the country and the people whom he is actually obliged to work for, not against. 

 

No, this particular individual and the ideologies he represents are not worth dying for, but that may happen anyway as the political situation doesn't leave much room for choices. It's very sad, and it should have been stopped long ago when he committed "High Treason" by stealing classified documents and stacking them in his private home.

 
 

The Fate of The Body of A Dead Queen

Katherine Parr (1512-1548) was an obliging woman. Twice had she let herself get wed to elderly men who were not of her own choosing. However, when she wanted someone younger and handsomer after the demise of her second husband, Lord Latimer, the - by then - fat, sick, unappetizing and ill-tempered King Henry VIII wanted to marry her. As we know, he wasn't someone who took no for an answer, so even though she had set her eye on his brother-in-law from his marriage to Jane Seymour, namely Thomas Seymour, she married the king and became his sixth wife. When he died in 1547 she was even richer than before which most likely is what brought Thomas Seymour back as her suitor as he for quite some time had been on the look-out for a rich bride.

 

Thomas Seymour 

In the meantime he had tried his best to woe her stepdaughters, the princesses Mary and Elizabeth. Both of them were close to her, but especially Elizabeth. Anyway, Thomas Seymour had to back off from pursuing the princesses so he married Katherine. While she was deeply in love with him, he may have contended with marrying her in lack of better opportunities. Nonetheless, she got pregnant with her first and only child, Mary Seymour, who was born in 1548

Mary Seymour

Neither one of the parents showed much interest in the child, and when her mother, Katherine, died shortly after giving birth, she hadn't left her anything: All her money and belongings went to her grifting husband, Thomas Seymour. As to her hapless daughter then she was neglected by everyone, including her foster mother, even though she had been a very close friend of Katherine. The reason for this was that it was costly to have a foster daughter like Mary as she didn't get the State allowances that she was entitled to. The situation of this motherless child can't have been easy as she, being the daughter of a former queen, was entitled to certain proceedings, but not being rich something like that made her a burden on those who were to see to her well-being.

One feels that Katherine was cheated out of the love and respect she ought to have had in her fourth and final marriage. Thomas Seymour didn't show her much love, if any, and when she died, her dead body had a very strange fate, nothing like was common with women who had been queens. Presumably her body was embalmed as was the fashion at the time: All her internal organs were removed, and the cavity was stuffed with herbs and spices. Also, her body was rubbed with salves before it was wrapped up in several layers of waxed cloth and sealed with lead as the corpse was put into a wooden coffin in the chapel of Sudeley Castle. However, strangely enough she was buried uncommonly quickly for a former queen, maybe even as early as the day after she died. 

King Edward VI

As to her widower, Thomas Seymour, then he obviously was too busy wooing the princess Elizabeth to mourn his dead wife or take care of their infant daughter. Also, he was extremely busy trying to make the half-brother of Elizabeth, who as the son of his dead sister, Jane Seymour, was his nephew, King Edward VI, do his bidding. Something that turned into an insane attempt at what looks like a sort of kidnapping. All the problems he gave rise to ended in Thomas Seymour being jailed and executed. The man whom Katherine had loved was gone, and so was their daughter, who presumably died at the tender age of 3, but whom some historians think lived to adulthood, only sort of forgotten by everybody.

After her burial the corpse of Katherine experienced some very strange events. The once so impressive Sudeley Castle was deteriorating for 200 years and lost its royal status as it had many new and negligent owners until it was bought by two rich brothers, the glove makers John and William Dent. Over the years it had been plundered several times, for instance of its lead roofs that had protected it against the often rough, English weather. I suppose the grave of Katherine was forgotten so big was the surprise when her coffin and quite well-preserved dead body was found and retrieved by an employee of the owner in 1782, namely Lord Rivers. The man who was said to have found her was John Lucas who poked around in the ruins of the chapel, presumably looking for lead. Lead he found, but in another form than he expected, as it was the sole prime protection of Katherine's dead body after her wood coffin had decayed away. 

There are several stories of what happened next to the body, but it's understandable that poor John Lucas got surprised to find more than bones of the dead queen. Actually, it seems that her body was quite well-preserved, presumably mostly because of the many layers of waxed cloth and the lead casing. Anyway, John Lucas reburied the dead queen, but then some time later she was refound once more when some tourists also went poking the ground of the chapel. When they saw the face of Katherine, they somehow came to the strange decision to rebury her without even telling anybody about their find. Unfortunately they didn't put the protective waxed cloth back over her face. When a friend of the owner of Sudeley Castle, Lord Rivers, came to see the dead queen for herself she found it fetid and quite smelly because of the removal of the waxed cloth by the tourists. 

 

Next time the dead Katherine was made to leave her grave was when some gross individuals took her body out of the casing and danced with it before leaving it on a refuse heap. That event made the local vicar see to it that it was properly re-interred, but not for long as it underwent an archaeological examination by the Reverend T. Nash two years later. He wanted this, the first Protestant queen of England, to be buried in a more honorable manner, but what happened next wasn't short of utter horrors of its own: Poor Katherine was abused by some drunken men who were hired to bury her in a safer manner. According to legend they ripped off her arms, knocked out her teeth before decapitating her with a shovel, and then they went on to bury her corpse upside down.

When the wealthy glove makers, the Dent-brothers, bought Sudeley Castle, they decided to restore the chapel and some parts of the castle. At long last the former queen of Henry VIII, Katherine, had her own beautiful tomb where she is able to rest in peace. 

https://boobytrapec.blogspot.com/2025/08/unwanted-female.html

 

https://sudeleycastle.co.uk/history 

 

Encyclopedia Britannica 

 

Wikipedia

 

Poem By Else Cederborg: "Hauntings"

Hauntings

Gone, they said, gone forever

No coming back, they said

No-no-no never again

that is, except as a ghost

Do I want that?

Want to see your dear face an unmoveable mask?

To see your handsome frame grown threadbare?

But what if your eyes are still yours?

Lovely and loving?

Still portals to a soul worth loving?

Then I say: Haunt me

yes, haunt me by day or by night

let the seal between us be your glance

your eyes

the portal to Eternity

ALL rights reserved

© EC

Not What She Looks Like

 

If anybody of the female sex have been sporting what I see as a very distinctive "English Lady-Look", then it is Helen Violet Bonham Carter, Baroness Asquith of Yarnbury (1887-1969). Not much sprightly womanhood to be found in those sort of elonged and rather stiff facial features. No, she is a lady of the old, genuinely, English stock, and it shows in all photos of her. To me she looks like a prudish, humorless and rather dried-up tea-drinker which isn't what I like women to be. One shouldn't suspect that someone like her might be the grandmother of the very sprightly, vivacious and charming actress Helena Bonham Carter who've made many fictive characters stand out, especially in movies by her former husband, Tim Burton. Nonetheless, the stiff-faced baroness is the grandmother of sprightly Helena. However, I came to realize that I'm biased and shouldn't go after looks and demeanor as they all too often prove to be misleading: The fine lady may not look or behave like her granddaughteer, but she had qualities of her own.

I simply had to rethink my first impression of Helena's grandmother, the typical English lady. It turns out that she was the daughter of Prime Minister H.H. Asquith, who was knighted in 1925. That gave his daughter the "courtesy title" of "Lady Violet" which was the name she was known by as a writer and liberal politician in her own right. Many of her writings was fierce attacks on the Nazis, and it has been said that she did so well in her criticism that Hitler himself is supposed to have sworn to arrest her when he "conquered England". Something he, as we know, never did. However, it takes some special qualities to be seen as a thoroughly hated personal enemy of a dictator, whom he wants to jail - or worse - whenever he gets the opportunity. In my opinion that Hitler-hatred was a genuine recommendation of the aristocratic, but stiff-faced English lady. As it is Lady Violet had a fine career when she stood for Parliament and she became a life Peer. What. to me, also is a recommendation of her character is that she was the closest female friend of Winston Churchill and often fought side by side with him.

 

There is no doubt that she in character and demeanor was a typical Englishwoman as they were a few generations back. That's also obvious when looking at the cartoons that figured her. I have to admit that I was biased against her without even knowing her. At first glance I saw her as a special woman type of the past that I don't like very much, but I have to admit that she was so much more than just another English, stiff-faced prude.

 

Wikipedia 

The Shadowy Daughter of Mary Boleyn

 

Mary Boleyn (c. 1499-c. 1543)

She was the sister of the second wife of Henry VIII, Anne Boleyn, who met a gruesome fate in the hands of the highly skilled French executioner who was commissioned by the king himself to execute her. Something which happened on May 19, 1536. Also, Mary was the mistress of that same king who had her sister killed, and that has led to certain guesses by historians for ages: Was King Henry the biological father of her two children or were they the true offspring of her husband, William Carey, whom she married in 1520? If they were the king's children then the Tudor-genes survived and were preserved in future kings and queens, like for instance queen Elizabeth II and her son, king Charles III and his children.

I suppose it shall never be proven beyond any doubt whether the bloodline really is the one of Mary Boleyn and king Henry VIII or not. Anyway, the mother of Queen Elizabeth II, the wife of king George VI, the so-called Queen Mother Elizabeth, was a descendant of Mary Boleyn's daughter, Catherine Carey (1524-1569). As said before, whether Catherine was a biological daughter of the king or not, we don't know for sure, but she was without doubt the first cousin of the King's daughter, Queen Elizabeth I, her maybe-half-sister. As neither the king nor his daughter, Queen Elizabeth I, claimed her as a close relative, I take it that it is more of a rumor than anything else, but it is what has kept the interest alive even today. After all, neither Mary Boleyn nor her daughter, Catherine Carey, were all that interesting in themselves, but the possibility of their being closely connected with the Tudors, and not only through Anne Boleyn, turns the searchlight on them and their descendants.

It has been suggested that this is a portrait of Catherine Carey, but nobody knows for sure. There are also some presumed Catherine Carey-portraits of women bearing a likeness to Elizabeth I, red hair and everything, but although it may be tempting they furnish the same problem: Nobody knows for sure who they are. 

"True Daughter"? Naaahhh, but a "maybe-daughter", yes. Anyway, this niece of Anne Boleyn is said to have been present when she was executed. That's a much more interesting scenery in my opinion, than being a maybe-daughter or not. Also, she was recognized as the favorite cousin of Queen Elizabeth I, so I suppose it wasn't a great surprise that she was appointed her Chief Lady of the Bedchamber. She even kept that position for many years, at the same time giving birth to several children. To me, it seems a bit odd, that Catherine also had been "Maid of Honor", to two of King Henry VIII's queens, Anne of Cleves, and Katherine Howard before she became Elizabeth's "Chief Lady of the Bedchamber". However, quite a nice career, so to speak.

 

Wikipedia 

 

When Murderers Really Love What they Are Doing

 The Gang of Amazons

One of the detectives investigating what has been nicknamed "The Gang of Amazons" has said that this Russian, family-murder-squad was the most cruel and sick one he had ever encountered. The gang members didn't feel any remorse at the approximately 30 murders they had committed over a time period of six years. The main point for the gang was what most often is the one for people engaging in this kind of serial killings, namely money, but they didn't always get what they wanted. For instance, their first murder spree only brought them a coat and a remote television controller. Not very impressive, but that didn't deter them as they went on.

Inessa Tarverdiyeva

The matriarch of the gang was 46 years old Inessa Tarverdiyeva. Others were her two daughters, Viktoria and Anastasiya, as well as her husband, 35 years old Roman Podkopaev, and their son-in-law, Sergei Sinelnik. It's not well-known when they started out on their mercenary serial killings, some say 2007, but there are indications that they started as early as 1998. 

 

 

The name of the gang stems from the finding of a knife by their, at that time, presumably first victims. This particular knife was named "My Favorite Amazon", but actually, it didn't belong to the gang, but to the victims. Nonetheless, the name stuck with them from then on. 

 

 

What I find very strange is that the goal of the gang was to enrich themselves, but they were not poor or socially marginalized. For instance, Inessa was a nursery school teacher, but relinquished her job for the family business of robberies and murder. Her husband, Ramon, was a registered dentist. However, also he was the suspect in the murder of her first husband so maybe he started his murder "career" before he married Inessa. As to the husband of Anastasiya, Sergei Sinelnik, then he was a police officer which furnished the gang with valuable inside information that they used in their criminal activities. When considering the loot of the gang I must say that I don't understand why they bothered their crimes, murders and all, because it was often something that wouldn't bring in much if sold. I take it that they enjoyed doing what they did, and that that was what kept them going for many years. They are sad specimens of people who, for some reason or another, turn sadists without any obvious cause.    

 

https://www.toptenz.net/10-bone-chilling-stories-of-serial-killing-families.php

 

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Wikipedia 

Short Story by Else Cederborg: "Fate In The Workings"

 

- How ugly she is, Lynne thought, when Rosie came to see her after class. Is that grey stuff on her cheeks dirt or old make-up? And why doesn't she smile, usually they do when they ask favors ....

Rosie stood still, all quiet, didn't move, until she was sure she had caught Lynne's eye and that she didn't disrupt her work with the essays from the students. Her essay wasn't in the pile, she knew that full well, but what could she do, after all it's impossible to be in two different places at the same time.

"All right, Rosie,"Lynne said with assumed friendliness, "You wished to talk to me so how may I help you?"

Rosie stood staring at her shoes as if they were very interesting objects and she didn't have ears to hear what Lynne said. Lynne browsed one more essay and after a while she heard Rosie say: "I'm sorry I didn't have time for the essay, but ...."

"All right," Lynne said, eager to get it over with, "you know you have to prove your writing and spelling skills. Otherwise I can't let you pass. After all, people must know that you can what you're supposed to be able to do as a naturalized citizen."

"Yes, I'm very sorry," Rosie said, "but this week was impossible and then I thought that I might give you something else I wrote some time ago. It's not an essay and nobody has seen it before, but I wrote it when we read those nice English poets in class."

"Shelley, Byron and Sylvia Plath?"

"Yes, those are the ones ...."

"What do you mean that you wrote them when we read them? Did you write down what they wrote or what do you mean?"

Rosie looked at her in disgust. "No, certainly not, but I had never read English poets before and they inspired me."

Lynne looked askance at her middle-aged student, at her derelict clothes, her brownish (dirty?) hands and face. She even took in an unmistakable odor of dirty, used clothes and a not too clean human being. By doing so she felt very brave and compassionate, a real humanitarian "social worker". 

"Well, woun't you sit down, Rosie and let me finish these essays. Then we can talk about it ...." 

Rosie sat down at once which convinced Lynne about her being as tired as she looked. Again she looked down at her downtrodden, derelict shoes. 

- Too much, she thought, to be like that, a bum no less. 

Soon after having sat down Rosie's eyes closed and it was obvious that she was about to fall asleep. Lynne shrugged at her small, thin frame which made her look older than she most likely was.

After having finished reading the essays, commenting and marking them, Lynne turned to Rosie. She found her awake, but with a facial expression of utter exhaustion. When Lynne spoke to her she smiled one of those rare smiles which Lynne hadn't seen very often. To her horror she saw that she didn't have any front teeth and always being such a coward in dental matters she suddenly understood something: This woman, a refuge from a foreign country, lived a kind of life she herself wouldn't have been able to endure. All right, she was dirty and unkempt, but also she attended a night school to better her situation. Actually, she was more of a heroine than her own soldier mother, a decorated major, no less.

"Rosie," she said, "how do you get food for yourself and your family? Do you have a job?"

"No, not really, but I know some shop keepers who let me have some groceries from the day before if I help them clean the place or fetch something for them. Then they may also pay me - that is if they don't forget."

"Tough," Lynne said and this time her statement was with conviction and even regret. She suddenly felt genuine compassion and something bordering on admiration for this woman and wished she could help her. That made her think of the papers she had wanted to show her.

"All right, Rosie, what was it you wanted me to see?"

Rosie held out some papers while at the same time shyly averting her eyes. Lynne took the papers from her hand and started to read these English-inspired poems. The wording wasn't too good, but the poems themselves couldn't be shrugged off: They were good, maybe even worthy of publication. 

"Very good, Rosie," Lynne said, really impressed. "Those English poets certainly were of use for you if they inspired you."

"They did - and Pablo Neruda."

"Oh, you know Pablo Neruda? What have you read by him?"

"Everything, he was a friend of my uncle ...."

Lynne stared at her student as if she had never seen her before. "Your uncle?" she stuttered, but how?"

"I'm a fugitive, remember, and my uncle was a well known politician. Besides, I too had a life, just like yours." 

All of a sudden this derelict creature sounded exceedingly proud as if she wanted to compete with her affluent and smart looking teacher. Lynne was stunned. Were there any similarities between them so that she connected with this woman in more than an ordinary teacher-pupil relationship? That couldn't be!

"Yes, I was a teacher like you, and I wrote poetry and plays before I came here."

This statement of a lost identity went into the heart of Lynne like a fire from the angel's Sword of Flames.

 - That can't be, she told herself. From something like my family position to living on nothing in a foreign country?!! That couldn't happen to anybody. As this thought went through her bewildered mind Rosie produced a small set of photos from her handbag and put them in front of Lynne.

In these photos she saw a happy family, seemingly orbiting around an exceedingly beautiful, young woman who bore a faint resemblance to the derelict figure by her side. 

"Yes, that's me," Rosie said as her forefinger found this beautiful woman, "I'm 21-23 here and it was just before we left."

Lynne looked from her pupil to the photo and back again and she felt like weeping, however more over Fate itself than over the individual fate of this one woman. 

"All right," she said, "let me think about the poems and then maybe I can use them for an individual essay, i.e. an essay on a free subject."

Rosies face split open into rare, beautiful smile. Her eyes twinkled and the sudden beauty of her face was just a setting for what lit it up: Her very soul.

Lynne whipped out her handkerchief and concealed her tears by pretending to wiper her nose. 

"Rosie," she said, "let me have the poems for some days and then I shall talk to you again. If possible they may go as a free essay, but you may have to submit something more later on."

"OK," Rosie said, looking very relieved, "I hope you shall like them."

Lynne didn't make a reply, but when Rosie rose to her feet and left right away she knew that what she felt for this student - all the mixed feelings - might disrupt her judgement as a teacher. 

- I don't care, she thought, no, not in the least, am I corrupted then I'm also challenged by meeting Fate in the workings.

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