I always admired the 16th president of The United States, Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865), for his politics as I find the very idea of slavery detestable. He defended America as a constitutional union and had an important part in securing the U.S. economy, and all of this made him one of the great presidents of his country. As he was born of a poor family I find even more to admire in him: "Self-made" men and women always speak to my sense of admiration. However, there are some traits from his private life that seem quite surprising to me, and one of them is his habit of sleeping with male friends. As it is during his youth and adulthood he slept in the same
bed with eleven boys and men or even more. Was that normal at the time? Some historians say it was, whereas others see it as an indication of homosexuality. That may be, but we shouldn't forget the intense friendships of men with men and women with women at this time of history.
After all, Abe did get married to Mary Todd (1818–1882) - that is after two periods of being engaged to her - and they had four sons although, sadly enough, three of them died in infancy. As it is their marriage was reputed for its sexual overtones which indicate that they were genuinely physically attracted to each other. Then why did Lincoln chose to sleep with men who were more or less close male friends? These days some have suggested that he was a "closet LGBT"-guy, practizing homosexuality for several years. One of his closest friends and also bed fellows was Joshua Speed (1814-1882). Their friendship went far back and one may say that both of them were self-made men. There are letters that show their mutual concern for fulfilling the obligations of marriage and life in a society that harbor certain expectations to young males, but both of them married and had children.
However, be that as it may, it has been known that the Lincolns (most often) didn't sleep together in the same bed, but that he over the years shared his bed with several men. Was that common or was it very special for the Lincolns? Well, it seems that it may have been an English habit for a married couple not to share bed most of the time. Besides, poor Mary was afflicted with several ailments that might have made her want to sleep alone. Actually, at times she was committed to hospitals of various art and if she complained about the marital arraignments of her marriage I haven't found it. As for an explanation of the arraignment of the sleeping habits I think it may have something to do with childbearing: Maybe they practiced a crude form of planning, both to have a grip on the numbers of children and to spare Mary as she wasn't well.
She sat beside her husband when he was shot which must have been a very traumatic experience. Did people feel sorry for her? No, somehow she became quite unpopular and even today she isn't a woman whom the Americans take to. In my opinion she represents an enigma and I feel that we should know more about her and whom she really was before passing any judgements on her. Gossips may love the stories about her and her husband, but after all, it's none of our business until it proves of an historical interest that will make us wiser about this time period ....
https://www.therestorationmovement.com/_states/oklahoma/speer,ws.htm
Wikipedia